


For the Dead Travel Fast

by SpuffyCarrie



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-03 00:44:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19452883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpuffyCarrie/pseuds/SpuffyCarrie
Summary: Where Dracula is, surely Van Helsing follows?Unbetaed, short off canon one shot, set in S5 following Buffy Vs Dracula.





	For the Dead Travel Fast

"Life is shite," Spike slurred, chilling with a bottle of Jack on the grass outside his crypt, "it's been a funny old day," he mentions, pointing at a large black moth which has just landed on the headstone beside him, "the glory hunting ponce almost got his grimy claws on Buffy with his party tricks, and the whelp, he fucking almost handed her to him on a silver bloody platter."

Chances were, he was never going to get his eleven quid back, and by today's standards he was owed at least two thousand American by now. That didn't compare to the Riley git, he was more of a wanker than old Drax, and Spike hated how he was at the bloke’s mercy because of the chip. He looked up as thunder rolled through the sky above, feeling a spot of rain on his face. The air was filled with electricity and the clouds looked a deeper shade of grey than he would normally expect to see on such a clear night. A bright white moon broke through for a moment and promptly disappeared, enclosed by black nimbus clouds. Something didn't feel right and he sat up, holding his head as it spun. Whatever he drank, he could never quite rid himself of the hold Buffy had over him, they talked about Dracula's thrall, but Buffy had a hold over a bloke that could make him want to change his very nature. Alright, things had been hard, in fact excruciating on occasion, as he had to watch her simper over soldier boy who didn't deserve the likes of her. A human and a Slayer was like a vamp with a human consort, you want it for a while, but then find they're breakable, realise it could never work because you can't unleash it, the demon inside, without extinguishing the light in their eyes. 

Feeling morose, he took another swig and pouted. It was chilly enough to cause a light frost on the ground and he could hear the crunch of boots approaching from a distance away and an authoritative voice broke through the darkness.

"Bring any vampires you find to me first, I want to know exactly where Dracula is holed up. He won't escape us this time, we're close, I know it."

Spike rose silently, unfortunately finding himself staggering in his inebriation as men dressed in black combat gear slid through the trees. His vision was a little fuzzy, but he knew they weren’t the Initiative as he could see an emblem on their jackets, VH with a picture of a stake surrounded by golden angel wings. Why was it never bloody safe to just be alone? For fucks sake, he thought, these military types must just have the horn for me.

He ran but they were too quick for him when he dived for the bushes. Regaining consciousness he found his mouth gagged and wrists bound in burning silver rope as he was unceremoniously dragged inside his crypt and flung across the floor, sliding with speed over the roughened ground and smashing into some stone urns he quite liked. They gave the place gothic atmosphere. 

Spike watched through slitted eyes as a tall man, with long dark hair walked through the door wearing a long black trench coat and Victorian get up. Looking around, he took off a top hat and removed black leather gloves, slapping them against his hand as he surveyed his surroundings. "Looks like this one has nested, check the place out, I dare say this demon of Lucifer has concubines of the devil hidden here. Go!" He commanded, before turning slate grey eyes on Spike. 

"You may pass for human here, boy, with your modern clothes and strange white hair, but I know what you are. I come from a long line of vampire hunters, who make it our jobs to decimate your kind."

Spike rolled his eyes, what a wanker, he'll soon learn he's not the only slayer in town, and Buffy won't want anyone stepping on her turf, or decimating her vampire.

He walked over and stood over Spike, leaning down to remove the gag, wearing a belt across his chest filled with stakes and a crossbow slung over his shoulder, standing at least six foot seven and broad with it.

Spike struggles and shouts out, 'I'm gonna thrash you till your bollocks are just a distant memory!" 

The man takes a moment, sizing Spike up before replying, "It's not often I speak to the devils spawn we capture before I dust them, I'm surprised to hear you're from my home country, but as we're new here, we'll give you the rare opportunity to tell us where Dracula resides. You'll live perhaps a few hours longer and then I'll do you the service of ending you swiftly, I believe that's a good bargain for the likes of you."

Spike thinks about it. Why the bloody hell could this not be a night where Buffy pops in on her patrol? She could punch him in the nose as many times as she liked, as long as she got him out of this pricks clutches. "Look, I'd love to take tea and bloody scones, while I reveal the whereabouts of that fucking wanker, but you've missed him, he left a few hours ago, the Slayer staked him, he—"

"The Slayer?" He rudely interrupts, dropping to his haunches and peering at Spike, his eyes darkening.

"Yeah, the sodding Slayer, tiny blonde chit, gorgeous, great knocker’s—"

"Hush, spawn of Satan! Where is this Slayer?" He looks rather annoyed and Spikes nothing if not eager to anger him further. 

"Tell me who you are, then I might consider it, mate." Spike chuckles. He may be afraid of being staked but he'll never let on.

The man rises, glaring down at him. "I am Adrian Van Helsing, of the Van Helsing line. You may have heard of my great, great grandfather, Abraham?"

Spike chuckles at first, then lets out a loud guffaw, "Who the bloody hell called you Adrian? Christ, I don't think I've ever heard anything so funny since I heard the Slayer was called Buffy!" 

Adrian growled and kicked Spike in the ribs, causing him to seethe and peer up at him with a look that might kill, given the opportunity.

"You'll regret that, I'm going to break every bone in your neck until the only thing you can feel is your pulse as I sup on your life's blood."

"Really? Because, from where I'm standing, you're at my mercy as those silver ropes bind you." He gives a sinister laugh, before sitting in Spikes chair.

"I'm William the Bloody, you don't know who you're fucking with here, I—"

The door crashes open and Buffy walks in, looking overtly happy with herself as she usually is, when she invades Spikes privacy.

"Spike, I—" She pauses as she surveys the scene, the others from Van Helsing party having returned from their search of the crypt, pointing their guns at her. "Oh, I didn't know you had company?" She smirks, folding her arms across her chest.

"Slayer! Tell him who I am! Tell him he doesn't want to mess with me!" Spike yells.

"Oh, no, is little Spikey in trouble again?" She pouts and makes a sad face before turning to Adrian, "I have no idea who you are, and I'm sure Spikes informed you of his neutered status, he’s pretty much of no use to anyone and I think you're wasting your time. So, if you'd just leave—"

"Slayer? As in the chosen one?" Adrian looks at her wide eyed.

"Buffy, and you are?"

"My dear, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you." He takes a knee and lifts her hand gently to kiss her knuckles. "I am famed vampire hunter Adrian Van Helsing."

"Pish, tosh! The blokes third in line from the original that once sought out Dracula, pet. None of them ever caught him, they've just wasted their life tryin!'" Spike yelps as Adrian stands and kicks him once more, this time in the leg.

"I must apologise for this rank devil’s crass allusion," Adrian takes out a silver cross and moves towards Spike, " I shall rid us of this interruption, so we may become better acquainted." 

"Don't touch him!" Buffy is at her sternest and Spike looks up hopefully. "He's my source, he feeds me information, I think you can understand how hard that is to come by in our world, uh, since you are seeking a guy who just left here?" She glances at Spike and shuffles slightly. "So, um, Adrian was it? Why don't you tell me why you're here, as you can see, I'm a Slayer protecting an active Hellmouth, I think you can see we don't need any assistance from rank amateurs." 

Spike grinned as he watched Adrian's face colour the deepest shade of puce, his minions shaking their heads as they raised their guns and pointed them at Buffy, releasing their safety catches, which echoed around the crypt.

Once he realised they were serious, Spike spoke out, "Oi, you gits leave her be, she's the bloody chosen one, you can't come here thinking you're better than her because grandpappy once tried to kill Dracula, he fucking didn't succeed or the cocky prick wouldn't have taken Buffy under his thrall!"

"What? Spike! How could you tell them that? It's like you're the world’s worst gossip, you can't keep your mouth shut!" 

"It's only bloody revenge for all the times you've fucked me over!" He retaliated.

"I hate you! Do you know that? I came here because I thought you'd understand! Riley says he's okay about what happened, but he doesn't know how close I came to giving myself up to Dracula."

"I can't listen to this! Good luck with her mate, I'm sure you'll get a rational conversation from her when she decides to make sense." Spike yells at Adrian, who is by now staring at the two curiously. He starts to speak, but finds Buffy shouting once more.

"I'm rational! I'm rational girl—"

"Yeah, but your grammar and comprehension has a lot to be desired, love!"

"I can comprehend! I'm know what's happening, if I didn't, you'd have been dead a long time ago." 

"Give me strength! How do you get through the day? You're in college and you don't have a bloody clue!"

Adrian piped up eventually, "Err, Buffy, so Spike here told me you staked Dracula and he left earlier?"

"Yes! Now, if you don't mind? Spike and I have things to discuss!" She turned back to Spike once more to begin her tongue lashing. "I know what I need to know! I know when you're up to something!"

"Well I know when you're hot for me, I saw it, smelled it!"

"You're a pig, Spike, a dirty vamp-pig!" 

"I see your command of the English language is blinding as usual, pet, want to borrow my dictionary? I'm sure you'll find something to take your fancy, perhaps under 'I' for sodding intellect."

"Ugh! I don't even know why I keep you around!" 

"You love it, having me chained up like this, so you can verbally abuse me and have your way with me!" 

"I wouldn't touch you, y-you're—" 

"See, you cant even finish your sentence! You keep telling yourself you don't want me, I can smell you, or did you forget that? Delectable you are. Come here and untie me and I'll show you how you don't fancy the pants off me!"

"I'll come there and show you something in in a minute!" Buffy took her stake out of her pocket.

The two kept arguing and Adrian indicated with his hand that they were leaving.

Outside he stopped and took a deep breath. "If the Slayer was under Dracula's thrall, she wouldn't be virtually having hate sex with that sorry excuse for a vampire. We'll check the usual empty mansions and then leave, I'm sure there'll be clues in the next town, Dracula is nothing if not predictable. 

They left to the sound of arguing inside the crypt. 

"Somebody bloody stake me!" Spike yelled once they left. Rolling around with laughter afterwards and yelping slightly as the silver burned his wrists.

Buffy stared at him with a frown, "What the hell, Spike?"

"Got rid of them didn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah I suppose it did." She let out a breath, the corners of her lips curling.

"Do a bloke a favour." Spike held his hands out for her to remove the chains. 

She stared at him for a moment. "You know, I find I quite like having you chained up." She winked before heading for the door. "Have fun Spike."

"You Bitch!" He rolls over and yelled at the ceiling.

She turned and placed a hand on her cheek, biting her lip, before exclaiming, "Who me?" Leaving to his scream of frustration.

"Argggghhhhh!" 

She paused outside, placing her head against the cool stone of the crypt, panting slightly as she waited for her heart rate to slow, making a mental note to swing by after her patrol to check he's okay after she’s made sure the bogus vampire hunter has left.

“Geeze, I wish it was just one I had to dust.” She muttered as she walked away.


End file.
